Connection and Relationships
Build strong relationships by creating safety—through clarity, deep listening, and genuine curiosity.
Connection
Listen deeply, speak gently, be kind.
Curiosity
Open heart, open mind, open ears.
Safety
Contact, context, and clear agreements.
What is Relational Competence?
Relational competence means building trust, connection, and empathy in our relationships. It starts with how we show up — with our attention, tone, and presence.
It’s not about having the “right” words, but about listening deeply, noticing what’s unsaid, and creating a safe emotional space. It means setting kind boundaries, repairing connection after conflict, and returning with curiosity and care.
For children, relational competence from adults creates emotional safety. When children feel seen, heard, and respected, they can better understand their feelings, communicate clearly, and build healthy relationships.
The most important thing to remember: when someone is struggling, it’s not because they don’t want to. Something is making it hard for them to fit into the environment, culture, or expectations they are in. As adults, it’s our job to help children figure out what is holding them back — and the only way to do that is by asking. Most children actually know, but the conversation needs a strong relationship and genuine connection.
On the side, you’ll find tools and themes that support building connection — from active listening and mirroring to co-regulation and repair.
Because strong relationships don’t just happen — they grow, moment by moment, through how we choose to relate.
Active Listening
Listening with your whole self — ears, eyes, heart.
Not to fix or reply, but to truly understand.
Boundaries
The limits we set to protect our own well-being while respecting others.
Emotional Regulation
The ability to notice, understand, and manage our feelings — without being overwhelmed by them.
Validation
Acknowledging another person’s feelings or experience as real and important — even if you see it differently.
Nonverbal Connection
All the ways we say “I’m here” without words.
Repairing
The act of reconnecting after conflict or disconnection — saying “I see you,” “I’m sorry,” or “let’s try again.”
Silence
A pause, a breath, a thought.
A space to connect with ourselves —
to stay present, grounded, and safe in the quiet.
Mirroring
Reflecting a child’s feelings or actions to help them feel seen and understood.
"If I Can, I Will
Children do well when they can.
Struggles often come from unmet needs, not lack of effort.
Strengthen your Relational Competence
Listening
Contract, Contact, Context
Co-regulating
Recognize, Responsibility and Re-connection
Want More Support?
Need help applying this to your child or school? I offer short-term guidance conversations.